Archive for the ‘Couples and Money’ Category

Before Valentine’s Day, Use These 5 Tips for Financial Intimacy In Your Relationship

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and as much as the holiday is about romance, finances also play a big role in what happens on Feb. 14th.

Guys are often under pressure to come up with the “big” gift – like an expensive engagement ring – or to make some other dramatic show of their love and affection.

And even among couples that have already tied the knot, money matters can loom large. Surveys show that most U.S. couples argue about money, and half of all couples report having separate accounts.

If you want to achieve financial harmony in your relationship — especially ahead of Valentine’s Day – try these five tips: Continue reading “Before Valentine’s Day, Use These 5 Tips for Financial Intimacy In Your Relationship” »

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What to Do if Your Spouse Stole Your Money

You may not be divorced or even separated when you find out that your spouse has been stealing money from you.

When your husband or wife steals money from your bank account or wallet, they may have lied to you to cover up their act and broken your trust.

Lies like these can be especially damaging to any relationship and you might find it difficult to trust your partner about other matters in the future.

Stealing money from a spouse isn’t something that’s easy to overlook and you might be wondering why they had to lie to you and what they spent the money on.

Here are some things you can do if you find out that your spouse was stealing money from you:

Continue reading “What to Do if Your Spouse Stole Your Money” »

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What to Do If You Can’t Afford to Leave Your Spouse

When you and your spouse both know that your marriage just isn’t going to work and you want a divorce, you might end up staying married because neither of you can really afford to leave.

Many people who want to file for divorce realize that they simply can’t afford to end their marriage when they want to. The cost of actually filing the divorce and then building a new life from scratch can be pricey, not to mention emotionally overwhelming and stressful. For practical reasons, sometimes staying married is just a better financial choice for the short term.

Still, there are some things you can do to get on your feet and finally end the marriage.

Continue reading “What to Do If You Can’t Afford to Leave Your Spouse” »

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4 Financial Questions You Should Ask Your Future Spouse Before You Get Married

If you’re about to get married, or have recently tied the knot, chances are you and your mate talked through virtually every aspect of the wedding ceremony. But what about a thorough discussion of the money matters that will affect your life together after the Big Day?

Unfortunately, studies show that most couples are loath to have a true heart-to-heart when it comes to sharing about finances.

But before you walk down the aisle — or even if your guy already has put a ring on it — here are four questions you should ask and answer in order to boost your financial harmony:

1. How was money handled in your home when you grew up?

This question is designed to find out what deeply-rooted money beliefs your partner learned in early childhood.

A question like this, says Jane Honeck, a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist, “starts the conversation in a non judgmental way.”

By exploring follow-up questions like: “Did your parents fight about money? Who made all the money decisions? And did your mom or dad have all the power?” Honeck says you’ll better understand – and perhaps empathize with – why your mate acts a certain way with money or makes various financial choices.

“If your parents had a lot of debt and really could care less if they saved money, then you might handle your finances the same way,” says Honeck. Alternatively, she adds: “you might do everything exactly the opposite,” to avoid following in your parents’ footsteps.

Either way, it’s important to discuss your earliest money lessons with your future spouse, notes Honeck, who is also the author of the new book “The Problem With Money? It’s Not About the Money!

It’s not uncommon, however, for couples to shrink away from talking about finances – often because both parties want to avoid the same money arguments they heard their parents having. But for the sake of financial intimacy, an honest, candid “money talk” is one of the best ways to get your marriage off on the right foot.

Ultimately, says Honeck, “if you can hear where the person is coming from, you can have a little bit of compassion for them, and then you can negotiate from there.”

2. What is your credit rating?

I’m the first one to admit that you might raise an eyebrow by coming out and flat-out asking your honey what’s his or her FICO score. Talk about a romance killer. But that doesn’t mean you still can’t get the 411 on your partner’s credit standing – and do it in a loving, constructive way.

The key – as with all financial conversations – is to avoid some of the potential minefields that may occur. So don’t start the discussion by saying: “Let’s talk about all the financial skeletons in your closet.” That’s a sure-fire way to put your would-be spouse on the defensive.

Instead try the following conversation starter, recommended by Bill Hardekopf, the CEO of LowCards.com. “The safest way to go about this is to say: ‘Honey, since we’re about to join forces, it’s a good idea for us to get our free credit reports from the credit reporting agencies, just so we can review everything, make sure there are no mistakes, and see where we both stand.’”

A review of one another’s credit reports can offer insights into how financial responsible – or how reckless – each of you has been. But don’t take this as an opportunity to bash your partner. Instead, if they’ve had problems, talk through what got them into their predicament and find out if they learned anything from their credit setbacks.

Knowing your spouse’s credit rating is particularly important if you intend to get join credit cards or loans co-sign for a home or car. With joint accounts, each of you is responsible for 100% of the debt incurred together.

Additionally, if one of you has poor credit, the person with good credit may want to make the credit-challenged spouse an authorized user or a co-signer on certain accounts.

An authorized user isn’t a joint cardholder and thus isn’t liable for any debts. The downside: being an authorized user won’t benefit that party’s credit rating. By contrast, if the person with shaky credit is a listed as a co-signer on an account, he or she will get to “piggyback” off the other party’s good credit, and will enjoy the benefits of having an account in positive standing listed on his or her credit report.

Read the rest of Lynnette’s article on BlackEnterprise.com

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Disclaimer

All information on this blog is for educational purposes only.  

Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, The Money Coach, is not a certified financial planner, registered investment adviser, or attorney.

If you need specialty financial, investment or legal advice, please consult the appropriate professional.

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