Ask The Money Coach

Posts Tagged ‘financially abusive relationships’

Have you ever wondered how to establish financial boundaries with relatives and friends? If so, you’re not alone.

As a Money Coach, I’m constantly asked for suggestions on how to put an end to the money-draining behavior of family members and friends.

Well, this may come as a shock to many of you who keep getting approached for financial handouts, but the problem isn’t the person asking for money. The problem is you: the person who keeps doling out the cash, over and over, vainly hoping that it will be the last time.

In truth, that “last time” will never come. To truly help someone fix their financial woes, as well as keep your own finances own track, it’s often necessary to get rid of certain people in your life – at least your financial life.

Unfortunately, too many of us don’t know how to say “no” when necessary.

No to grown, able-bodied freeloaders who try to take advantage of you or make you feel guilty because, in their mind, you “have money to spare.”

No to schemers who concoct one cockamamie business idea after another and expect you to continually invest good money after bad in their failed efforts.

No to dreamers who have big plans to go back to school, start a business, or fulfill some other lifelong dream (with your money, of course), but then never follow through on those plans.

No to individuals who sport new clothes and jewelry every time you see them, but for some reason can’t seem to pay their car note, rent or gas bill on time and then expect you to bail them out of one crisis after another. Read the rest of Lynnette’s article on WalletPop.

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Question: My Husband Has a Motorcycle Loan in My Name That I Did Not Sign For. I Have Knowledge of the Loan But Did Not Sign For It. We are Having Marital Problems Now. I Have Disputed This Loan With Equifax and They Will Not Remove It. He is Not Making Payments On Time. What Can I Do?

Answer: This is a very unfortunate situation because it sounds like even though you didn’t personally sign for the motorcycle loan, you knew that you husband was getting the loan in your name (i.e. using your credit in order to get the loan). Even if you didn’t know what he was doing, your recourse and options are going to be limited because I assume that many months (maybe years) have passed since he originally got the loan. The time for you to speak up about it – or to let creditors or the credit bureaus know that you did not authorize the loan – would have been immediately after you learned of this. If he took out a loan without your knowledge, authorization or consent, then that is identity theft. If you can prove that it was fraud, perhaps by showing that it was not your signature on the loan contract, then you may have an outside chance at getting this loan off your credit. However, that may be a long shot. Weren’t the statements coming to your house each month and didn’t you see them? Doesn’t your husband live in the same home with you and didn’t you ask how he got a motorcycle? How long has it been that he’s had that motorcycle? I know these questions may sound harsh. But from the financial community’s perspective, it may seem like you are complaining about being on the loan now that you and your husband are having marital problems and he is not making the payments.

Under the law, if your name is on a credit account with your husband, (such as a mortgage, credit card or car loan), then you are both liable for that debt – even if you divorce. Right or wrong, that’s the law – and not just in community property states either.

Evaluating Your Other Options

Since your husband is not making timely payments, you have a handful of other options:

a)      make the payments yourself – and preserve your credit rating;

b)      try to convince him to pay on time

c)      see if you can work out a voluntary repossession, where he would turn the motorcycle back into the lender/finance company (but your credit would be impacted)

d)      consider whether a financially responsible family member or friend can take over the payments and use the motorcycle, which will relieve your husband of paying each month and may also keep your credit intact

What to Do With the Credit Bureaus

Additionally, if you think that divorce is likely, I would start closing out all joint accounts and notifying your creditors of your impending or actual separation. You should also put a credit freeze on your credit files so that no new credit can be obtained in your name. Lastly, pull your credit records from Equifax, Experian and TransUnion, and sign up for a good credit monitoring service for the next year or so. You want to make sure there are no other accounts opened by your husband of which you may not have been aware.

Related articles by Zemanta

• 5 Loan Options for Those With Good Credit (wisebread.com)
• Perfect Credit: 7 Steps to a Great Credit Rating (askthemoneycoach.com)
• Key Differences Between Equifax, Experian and TransUnion Credit Reports (askthemoneycoach.com)

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