I run my fingers over the stack of cruise cards spread before me on the dining room table, each a tangible reminder of our family’s seafaring adventures.
There must be at least 50 of them, bearing our names –– mine and my husband Earl, as well as our children Aziza, Jakada, and Alexis –– alongside dates, cruise lines, and ship names.
These little plastic rectangles –– variously called stateroom keys, SeaPass cards, or Sail & Sign cards depending on the cruise line –– served as our shipboard IDs, room keys, and charge cards while at sea. But for me, they’re so much more: each one is a tangible token of a voyage taken, a collection of memories made tangible, a lifetime of adventures condensed into the palm of my hand.
As I flip through them, memories flood back: the Carnival Sensation, the Norwegian Pearl, the Royal Caribbean Jewel of the Seas. But it’s not just the ships and itineraries that these cards evoke. It’s the people we’ve met along the way –– fellow passengers who’ve imparted wisdom that extends far beyond the confines of a ship.
Something to Look Forward To
I remember Tom and Michelle, a couple from Miami we met on one of our early cruises. Tom, a police officer, and Michelle, a 911 operator, had high-stress jobs that mirrored our own demanding lives as entrepreneurs raising kids. Over dinner one night, as the ship gently rocked beneath us, they shared a secret that would change our perspective forever.
“You know what gets us through the tough days?” Tom asked, a glint in his eye. “It’s knowing we have another cruise on the horizon. The moment we get home, we book the next one. It could be six months or a year away, but that anticipation… it’s everything.”
Michelle nodded in agreement. “It’s like a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how stressful work gets, we know we have this to look forward to.”
Earl and I exchanged glances, recognizing the wisdom in their words. From that moment on, we adopted their strategy. Perhaps we got a bit carried away – at one point, we were cruising three or four times a year! But that constant anticipation, that steady drumbeat of adventure on the horizon, became our anchor in stormy seas.
A Lifetime of Memories
Then there was Maria, a vivacious Latina woman we met during a salsa class on deck. As we fumbled through the steps, she laughed and said, “Ha bailado!” She explained it meant, “You have danced.” It’s a Spanish expression suggesting that once you’ve “danced” –– experienced something, achieved something, or lived through a significant moment –– those experiences, accomplishments, or memories are yours forever. No one can take them away.
This simple phrase became a mantra for us, extending far beyond our travels. When our children faced challenges in school, we reminded them, “Once you earn that degree, it’s yours forever. No one can take it from you.”
When Earl and I reached various business milestones – like landing a national TV appearance or having my personal finance book, Bounce Back, become an Amazon bestseller, we would discuss the accomplishment and say, “Ha bailado.” We had danced, and no one could take that achievement away from us.
Do It Now
But perhaps the most profound advice came from an older gentleman we met on a Caribbean cruise that we’d taken solo, without the kids. While standing in line next to the man and waiting to take photos during formal night, we traded stories about our respective families. Then the conversation turned to cruising and traveling in general. Earl asked him: “Should we should keep traveling as often as we do now or wait until retirement?”
His response was immediate and passionate. “Do it now,” he said, his eyes intense. “Life is short, and nothing is promised. Your health, your finances – they can change in an instant. If you have the health, the money, and the time to travel now, do it. Don’t wait.”
His words echoed in our minds long after we disembarked. And how prophetic they turned out to be. When the pandemic hit, travel ground to a halt. The world changed overnight, and suddenly, the freedom we had taken for granted was gone.
When travel restrictions finally eased in 2021, we embraced what some called “revenge travel,” spending six glorious weeks in Mexico. But life had more lessons in store for us.
Upon our return, Earl was diagnosed with a heart condition called atrial fibrillation, or AFib, which causes an irregular heartbeat. Left untreated, it can lead to heart attack, stroke, or even death. It was a wake-up call, a reminder of the fragility of health that our cruise ship sage had warned us about.
Earl tackled his diagnosis with the same determination he’d applied to our business ventures. He overhauled his diet, quit coffee and alcohol cold turkey, started walking daily, and embraced clean eating. I joined him on this journey, and together, we transformed our health. Earl lost 65 pounds; I shed 85. The doctors called him a model patient, but to me, he was simply living out the wisdom we’d gathered over years of travels.
Now, as empty nesters, we find ourselves at a new crossroads. Our children have grown into global citizens themselves, carrying the love for travel we instilled in them to new horizons. Aziza, our oldest, honeymooned in Belize and has since explored Italy, France, Greece, Turkey, and Peru with her husband, Jacob.
Our son Jakada’s wanderlust has taken him to Angola, Nigeria, and Brazil. Meanwhile, our youngest daughter, Alexis, who as a toddler aboard a cruise ship took her first steps at sea, is looking forward to studying abroad in college, likely in Latin America. As I write this, she’s on a Spring Break trip in Mexico – her first trip alone, without the parents.
As for Earl and I, we’re planning our next cruise, on the Nile River in Egypt in 2025. We have the money, the time, and now, thanks to our health journey, the vitality to fully embrace the experience.
But all isn’t perfect. We’re acutely aware of how precious these opportunities are, and how easily they could slip away.
We were recently reminded of that.
Determination and Gratitude
In late fall, Earl had a prostate biopsy after his PSA levels came back elevated.
We subsequently got news from Earl’s urologist that the biopsy results were positive for prostate cancer. Despite the grim-sounding diagnosis, prostate cancer is very slow-growing, and since it was caught early, Earl’s chances for a long life remain excellent. The 10-year survival rate for prostate cancer is above 90%.
“I beat aFib and I can beat this too,” Earl told me, with determination in his voice.
So as I pick up a card from our last cruise, a journey taken well before Earl’s latest health scare, everything feels surreal. Nonetheless, running my fingers over the embossed lettering, I’m filled with gratitude.
First and foremost, I’m grateful for my husband’s strength, positive outlook, and simply that he is by my side. He’s now finished with his cancer radiation treatments, and we expect to get the all-clear from his doctors soon.
I’m filled with gratitude also for the destinations we’ve visited, and even more so for the fellow travelers who’ve shaped our journey.
Thanks to chance encounters at sea, Tom and Michelle taught us the power of anticipation. Maria reminded us that our experiences are ours to keep forever. And that wise retiree showed us the importance of seizing the moment.
Earl joins me at the table, his eyes looking amused at the mountain of memories reflected in the ship cards before us. “Planning our next adventure?” he asks, a familiar spark in his eye.
At first, I just smile and start to gather the cards, but then my hand hovers over the stack. Then, I realize, there’s room for more. More cruises, more lessons, more life to be lived. We may have danced many dances, Earl and I, but our feet are far from tired.
“You know,” I say to Earl, “I think it’s time we added another card to this collection.”
He nods, understanding immediately. “Ha bailado,” he says softly, echoing Maria’s words from years ago.
Yes, we have danced, and we’ll keep on dancing, for as long as the music of life plays on.
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