Most parents cherish those precious moments of connection with their children in the car – driving to school, heading to practice, or running errands. It’s during these unguarded moments that kids often open up, sharing their dreams, fears, and daily dramas.

But in our family, some of my most meaningful mother-daughter conversations happened at 35,000 feet.

From the time she was just three months old, my youngest daughter Alexis – who is now 19 – has been my frequent flying companion. In fact, by age five, Alexis had been on 42 separate round-trip flights with me and my husband, Earl.

Growing Up – While Up in the Air

I have a treasure trove of photos capturing her evolution: as an infant happily smiling despite airplane turbulence, as a preteen and teenager with her cellphone or headphones aboard flights, and now a confident young adult who navigates airports with the expertise of a seasoned traveler.

Each flight has been more than just a journey from point A to point B. It’s been an opportunity for her growth – as well as connection, conversation, and deeper understanding between mother and daughter.

I remember one particularly poignant conversation during a college visit flight. Alexis, then a high school senior, was wrestling with big decisions about her future. Unlike many of her peers from our previous hometown in Mountainside, New Jersey – a small, predominantly white town of 7,000 – Alexis had her heart set on attending an HBCU (Historically Black College or University).

As we flew between campuses – Howard University in Washington DC, Spelman in Atlanta, FAMU in Tallahassee, and North Carolina A&T State University in Greensboro – our conversations went far deeper than just comparing academic programs.

“Mom,” she confided during one flight, her voice barely audible above the engine’s hum, “I want to experience something different.” We talked about her transition from our northern New Jersey life to Cypress, Texas – a diverse Houston suburb where she’d spent her high school years – and how that move had opened her eyes to different cultures and experiences.

This wasn’t entirely new territory for Alexis, who had grown up speaking Spanish with her beloved godmother Pati and Pati’s family from El Salvador.

But now she was experiencing even more diversity, like participating in a friend’s quinceañera and taking a hip-hop dance class – adventures that weren’t available in our small New Jersey town.

Not all our airborne conversations were heavy with life decisions, though. Alexis has always had a wonderful sense of humor, and she’s given me countless moments of laughter during our flights together.

There was the time she dramatically declared a particular Asian noodle dish served in first class to be “like eating smashed worms!” – a meal that has become legendary between us as the “worst airplane food ever.”

Or the countless times she’d roll her eyes and exclaim “yuck!” when catching her father and me stealing a kiss, her teenage embarrassment at parental PDA on full display.

These flights also gave us space to process disappointments together. When Spelman College – one of her top choices – first deferred and then ultimately denied her application, we had one of our most honest conversations about handling rejection and staying resilient. That particular discussion, happening somewhere between Atlanta and Houston, helped transform a moment of disappointment into one of growth and determination.

Our airborne talks often touched on matters of the heart too. Away from the distractions of daily life, Alexis would share stories about her latest crush or seek advice about navigating high school relationships. These conversations felt different at altitude – somehow both more intimate and more relaxed, as if the physical distance from the ground permitted us to float free from our usual roles and just be two people talking.

Food was another favorite topic, fitting for a teenager who’d worked for over a year as a lead hostess at Longhorn Steak House and also started her own business, Alexis’s Cupcakes, complete with an Instagram following. She’d critique the airplane meals with the discerning palate of a food critic (except for that infamous noodle dish).

Looking back, I realize these in-flight conversations created a unique kind of sanctuary.

Unlike car rides, which are punctuated by traffic stops and daily errands, our time in the air was uninterrupted, focused, and somehow more intentional. Whether we were turning left into business or first class (a privilege we never took for granted) or settling into economy seating, those hours suspended between earth and sky became our special space for mother-daughter connection.

Now, as Alexis thrives in her freshman year at North Carolina A&T State University – her dream school – our flights together have taken on a different rhythm. She’s usually the one telling me about campus life and her friends, her fellowship at the Center for Excellence in Social Justice, her volunteer work, and her plans for law school.

But some things haven’t changed: she still arrives at the airport ridiculously early (taking after her father rather than my just-in-time approach), still critiques the airplane food with brutal honesty, and still occasionally catches her parents stealing a kiss across the aisle.

These days, our flight connections often start with text messages. During her recent holiday travel home, Alexis messaged us about a delay at GSO airport and her concerns about making her connection at Newark. “You’ll be fine,” I texted back, mother’s intuition still working even from afar. And she was, navigating the airport tram between terminals like a pro, though the 45-minute wait for her luggage at IAH airport tested her patience.

Watching Alexis handle these travel challenges with such confidence, I couldn’t help but smile. That tiny infant who could tolerate turbulence and even thunderstorms at 35,000 feet has grown into a poised young woman who carries with her all the wisdom, humor, and life lessons we’ve shared in the sky.

Alexis has even taken to traveling internationally on her own, without us. She’s currently on a Spring Break trip to Cancun.

Our airborne conversations may have evolved from in-person chats to text messages and FaceTime calls, but they remain one of my most treasured parts of motherhood – proof that sometimes the best heart-to-heart talks happen not on the ground, but somewhere between the clouds.

Lynnette Khalfani-Cox is a personal finance expert, New York Times bestselling author, and travel enthusiast who is always planning her next getaway. Find Lynnette Khalfani-Cox on Instagram.