How to Spend Money on Things That Bring You Joy Without Feeling Guilty

During one of my recent appearances on FOX 5 New York, I was asked about an interesting financial dilemma: Why do so many Americans feel guilty about spending money on things that make them happy?

My answer was pretty simple.

We all work hard for our money. Yes, we have bills to pay, savings goals to reach, debt to eliminate and futures to prepare for. But I don’t believe the purpose of managing money well is to create a life where every dollar goes toward obligations and nothing goes toward actually enjoying yourself.

The goal should be balance.

And judging from some fascinating new research from Ally Bank, a lot of Americans are struggling to find it.

Americans Are Spending on Joy — and Then Feeling Guilty

Ally Bank’s inaugural Cost of Life Today report, based on research conducted by YouGov among more than 5,000 U.S. adults, examined the relationship between financial pressures and the things that bring us happiness.

One of the biggest findings was striking: 72% of Americans said they feel at least some guilt when spending money on joy instead of other financial goals.

Yet only 6% believe they’re actually spending too much on those things.

Think about that for a moment.

Most people aren’t necessarily saying, “I’m blowing my budget.”

They’re saying, “I spent money on myself, and somehow I feel like I shouldn’t have.”

That’s an entirely different financial problem.

What Is “Joy Spending”?

Joy spending doesn’t necessarily mean buying a luxury handbag, flying first class or dropping thousands of dollars on something extravagant.

It can include:

• travel
• hobbies
• entertainment
• shopping
• dining out
• experiences with friends or family
• activities that provide relaxation or free time
• things that help us create memories

In today’s economy, some things that once seemed fairly ordinary can even feel luxurious.

The research found that only 15% of Americans say the things and experiences that bring them joy are easy to afford. At the same time, 68% spend money on joy at least monthly.

That’s the tension.

People aren’t necessarily chasing extravagance. Many are simply trying to maintain some quality of life while groceries, housing, insurance, transportation and other necessities compete for their paychecks.

Gen Z Feels Especially Guilty About Spending

The generational differences really caught my attention.

I have three Gen Z children, so when this subject came up during my interview, I joked that I was glad they weren’t sitting beside me.

Gen Z was the generation most likely to experience guilt around joy spending: 77% said they feel at least some guilt when they spend on joy instead of another financial goal.

But here’s what makes that finding especially interesting.

Gen Z is also the generation most likely to maintain a specific budget for joy. Ally found that 56% of Gen Z respondents had one, compared with 46% of millennials, 32% of Gen Xers and 29% of Boomers+.

So younger adults aren’t necessarily being reckless.

In many cases, they’re intentionally trying to make room in their budgets for the things that make life enjoyable — while simultaneously worrying about whether they’re making the “right” financial decision.

Baby boomers, meanwhile, reported the lowest level of guilt. About 63% reported some guilt, and nearly one-third said spending on joy was completely worth the cost.

There may be a lesson in that.

At some point, responsible financial planning also has to give you permission to live.

Should You Feel Guilty About Spending Money on Yourself?

Not automatically.

I don’t want people spending themselves into debt. I don’t want you ignoring your rent or mortgage, skipping minimum debt payments or failing to save anything because you’re constantly chasing the next pleasurable purchase.

But I also don’t think deprivation should be mistaken for good money management.

A better question is:

Can I afford this within the context of my overall financial life?

If you’ve budgeted for something, your essential expenses are covered, you’re making reasonable progress toward your financial goals and the purchase isn’t forcing you into problematic debt, then enjoying some of your money is not a financial failure.

That’s what your budget is supposed to help you determine.

The Problem Starts When Joy Spending Requires Financial Sacrifice

There was one finding from the Ally research that I wouldn’t ignore.

When money gets tight, 47% of respondents said they look for lower-cost ways to experience joy, while 42% save in advance.

Those are generally healthy strategies.

But 20% said they cut back on necessities, and 13% said they take on debt or use credit to make room for joy spending.

That’s where I would urge caution.

If your weekend getaway means you’re short on the electric bill, that’s not balance.

If eating out requires you to carry credit card debt month after month, that meal costs much more than the number printed on the receipt.

And if shopping becomes a recurring way to cope with stress while your financial obligations go unpaid, what initially creates joy can eventually create even more anxiety.

The answer isn’t to eliminate happiness.

It’s to finance happiness differently.

Create a “Joy Budget”

One of the simplest solutions is to intentionally include enjoyment in your financial plan.

Most budgets include housing, food, transportation, insurance, debt payments and savings.

Why not include some money for living?

Call it:

• fun money
• a travel fund
• an entertainment budget
• a family experiences fund
• a hobby fund
• or simply a joy budget

I don’t particularly care what you name it.

The important thing is that you’ve made a conscious decision about how much you can afford.

Once you’ve planned for that spending, you don’t have to renegotiate the decision emotionally every time you use the money.

You already gave yourself permission.

Try My Five-Part Test Before a Splurge

When you’re unsure whether you should spend money on something that isn’t strictly necessary, ask yourself five questions.

1. Are my necessities covered?

Housing, utilities, food, transportation, insurance and other essential obligations come first.

2. Will I have to borrow for this?

Using a credit card isn’t necessarily the problem if you’re paying the balance in full. Carrying expensive revolving debt to finance lifestyle spending is another matter.

3. Am I still making progress toward my important goals?

You don’t have to maximize every financial goal every single month. But your joy spending shouldn’t continually prevent you from saving, investing, reducing debt or building an emergency fund.

4. Does this actually bring me joy?

This is an underrated question.

We’re often influenced by advertising, social media, friends, family and FOMO. Something being pleasurable for someone else doesn’t mean it’s valuable to you.

Spend according to your values, not somebody else’s Instagram feed.

5. Will I still feel good about this purchase tomorrow?

A little anticipation can separate something genuinely meaningful from an impulse.

If you still want it after you’ve had time to think about it — and you can afford it — that’s a much stronger signal.

Experiences Can Sometimes Give You More for Your Money

One thing I’ve seen repeatedly in consumer research is that people often place tremendous value on experiences, relationships and memories.

The Ally data showed the same general pattern.

When consumers cut spending, they were more likely to reduce dining out, shopping, entertainment and travel before sacrificing social time with friends, helping other people or spending on their pets.

That tells us something important about how we might think about money.

Sometimes the highest-value use of your discretionary dollars isn’t another possession.

It may be dinner with someone you love.

A family trip.

Taking a class.

Enjoying a hobby.

Buying yourself some free time.

Or creating a memory you’ll still talk about years from now.

Money Is Supposed to Serve Your Life

I have spent decades teaching people how to budget, save, invest, eliminate debt and make smarter financial decisions.

All of those things matter.

But financial wellness can’t only be about accumulating the largest possible number in an account.

Money is a tool.

It should help you take care of today’s responsibilities, prepare for tomorrow and enjoy some of your life along the way.

Ally’s research found that 54% of consumers are trying to balance long-term financial goals with enjoying life today, even when that means making somewhat slower progress toward those goals.

I think that’s a conversation worth having.

There will always be another bill.

There will always be another financial goal.

There will always be another reason you could tell yourself to wait.

Being financially responsible doesn’t require eliminating every pleasure until some distant future when you’ve finally decided you’ve accumulated “enough.”

Instead, create boundaries.

Budget for your priorities.

Protect yourself against debt.

Save for the future.

And then allow yourself to enjoy some of the money you’ve worked so hard to earn.

That’s not irresponsible spending.

That’s balance.

Lynnette on FOX 5 NY: Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, The Money Coach, discussed this issue during a recent appearance on FOX 5 New York (WNYW), where she regularly provides personal finance analysis and consumer money advice.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it bad to spend money on things that make you happy?

No. Discretionary spending can be part of a healthy financial plan when your necessities are covered and the spending doesn’t undermine important financial goals or create unaffordable debt.

What is a joy budget?

A joy budget is money intentionally set aside for nonessential purchases or experiences that improve your quality of life, such as hobbies, travel, entertainment or time with family and friends.

How much money should I budget for fun?

There isn’t one percentage that’s right for everyone. The amount should depend on your income, essential expenses, debt obligations, emergency savings and other financial priorities.

Why do I feel guilty whenever I spend money on myself?

Financial guilt can come from uncertainty, past money problems, competing financial goals or the belief that every available dollar should be saved. A written budget can help distinguish genuinely unaffordable spending from spending you’ve consciously planned for.

Should I save money or enjoy life now?

It doesn’t have to be an either-or decision. You can simultaneously prepare for the future and allocate a reasonable amount toward enjoying your life today.

Is using a credit card for fun spending a bad idea?

Using a credit card isn’t automatically problematic if you can afford the purchase and pay the bill as agreed, preferably without carrying high-interest revolving debt. Regularly borrowing because you don’t otherwise have the money for discretionary purchases is a warning sign.

Is spending money on experiences better than buying things?

It depends on the person and the purchase. Experiences involving relationships, memories and meaningful activities can provide lasting satisfaction, but a thoughtfully chosen physical purchase can also provide substantial value.

How can I enjoy myself when money is tight?

Look for lower-cost or free substitutes before eliminating joy altogether. Free community events, outdoor activities, meals at home with friends, library resources and inexpensive hobbies can preserve experiences without placing additional pressure on your finances.

When does “treating yourself” become overspending?

It’s a problem when discretionary spending repeatedly causes you to miss essential payments, accumulate debt you can’t comfortably repay, drain emergency savings or abandon important financial priorities.

What’s the best way to stop feeling guilty about spending?

Decide in advance what you can afford. When discretionary spending has its own place in your budget, you can spend that money intentionally instead of treating every purchase as a new financial dilemma.

About the Research

Ally Bank’s inaugural Cost of Life Today report and Joy Index were developed with YouGov and based on a nationally representative July 2026 survey of more than 5,000 U.S. adults who participate in household financial decision-making.